The weather is getting warmer, the sun is shining more often, and the days are getting longer. You know what that means: Summer is on its way! With summer just around the proverbial corner, we are seeing hemlines getting shorter, outfits getting tighter, and sleeves disappearing. Many women may also find themselves preparing for “bikini season.” Some magazine covers will start to advertise tips and tricks on how to lose X amount of pounds fast and sure fire ways to shave a few inches off your waistline in only a matter of weeks.
But that’s not all they do. They also celebrate the best and the worst “bikini bodies.” The best being what you should look like and the worst being what you should avoid looking like… But what happens if you look more like a “worst” than a “best?” What happens if you’re packing a few extra pounds and are really struggling to lose weight? Or better yet, what happens if you just don’t have a model body-type and therefore won’t ever look as good as “The Best” according to certain magazine standards? What would they have to say about you? What would they have to say about me?
For the longest time, the entertainment and fashion industries bombarded us with the “thin is in” mentality. Celebrities often feel the constant pressure to look thin, and the moment they show a bit of “extra padding” around their middle, they’re either pregnant or fat. Seeing a beautiful woman being disparaged for not having a flat stomach sends such an awful message to women of all ages. So do the constant photoshop controversies wherein we are shown an un-retouched photo next to the final shot you see in magazines. It is a glaring reminder that your hips shouldn’t be too big, your breasts should be bigger, your thighs shouldn’t touch, and that your waist should be small enough to rival that of Barbie’s. We are taught to envy other women’s bodies and we start to delude ourselves that if only we were a little bit thinner, we would not only be happier, but more attractive too…
And it’s not enough to go through the tough, but no doubt miraculous task of pregnancy and giving birth (should we choose to do so), but we must also lose the baby weight and look amazing in a bikini within two weeks.
HOW is a woman supposed to feel good about herself when this is what she’s faced with constantly? How does a woman maintain a healthy self-esteem when she is constantly told that she’s not thin enough or beautiful enough?
Now I am, by no means, an expert on self confidence. In fact, adopting or maintaining a positive body image is a constant struggle. However, there are a few things I’ve learned in the last few years that are helping to shape a more positive awareness of who I am and what I look like.
GETTING HEALTHIER > WEIGHT LOSS
So often, we become obsessed with numbers. The numbers on the scale, the number on clothing labels, the number of inches you’ve shaved off… I believe that for the large majority of people, the goal is just to lose weight, or just to fit in a smaller size and they will do anything to achieve that goal. But our bodies are not all meant to be a certain size or a certain weight. I know some people who I cannot describe as lithe or even thin, and yet they are healthy, fit, and full of energy. Alternatively, I know others who are quite thin but have absolutely no strength.
See, it’s not just about being a size 6. It’s about doing what’s best for your body. If you’re eating healthily and are getting the right amount of exercise, but you’re still a size 14 despite wanting to be a size 6… Then honey, you work those size 14’s like it’s nobody’s business!
COMPARING ONESELF TO OTHERS IS TIME WASTED
Yes, there are things about myself that I wish were different, and there are many moments where I catch myself wishing I could trade one (or in my case, a pair) of my body parts for another’s (longer legs, please!). But what good will all that wishing and envying do, really? It won’t magically grow my legs longer, will it?
In the same way, wishing that you were as thin as somebody else is just a massive waste of your time. So why not do something more productive like…
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
As a makeup artistry student, I find myself looking at other people differently. I’ve started to really focus on what I find striking in other people’s faces and honing in on that. Sometimes I’ll point it out to somebody, only to have them look at me incredulously. It had never occurred to them before that there was anything truly beautiful about them. Which is such a shame, really.
This can apply to how we see our bodies, as well. Shift your focus from what you don’t like to what you do like. Because not having the body that the media tells you you should have doesn’t make you any less beautiful or attractive.
The bottom line is, I am not my weight or my dress size. I am much, much more than that; and I no longer want to be influenced by impossible standards of beauty. It’s time to accept my body for what it is; and as long as I’m healthy, I’m happy.
So I leave you all with this wonderful quote from Oprah Winfrey, who herself has experienced media scrutiny over her weight:
“This is a call to arms. A call to be gentle, to be forgiving, to be generous with yourself. The next time you look into the mirror, try to let go of the story line that says you’re too fat or too sallow, too ashy or too old, your eyes are too small or your nose too big; just look into the mirror and see your face. When the criticism drops away, what you will see then is just you, without judgement; and that is the first step forward toward transforming your experience of the world.”
