Last week, a reporter from our local newspaper came in to do a story about fashionable people in my office complex. After coming by twice to take a look at my gorgeous co-worker, she let out a long sigh and said something clever like, “OK, you’ll do. Everyone else here is so ugly.”
I turned around and snapped, “Dammit! That just isn’t true!” I was livid. Who was this woman, who quite honestly, had not told us she was visiting, to call US ugly? She didn’t give me the chance to comment on her appearance and if I had, I still would have used kinder words than what my inner Anna Wintour would have wanted. In her defense, an office full of gentlemen programmers work above our office and a very stuffy corporate office is below. Neither of these types of firms are known for producing style mavens, but who was she to judge us so harshly? Why did she think she had the right?
Perhaps it was because she has fallen prey to what I like to call the Perfect Phenomena. Our cultures feed on glossy images that are so far away from reality, it is getting hard to realize real beauty and accept it as beautiful. If perfection is the standard, who on earth can measure up? The drive to judge each other against such an impossible standard is a phenomenon that most of us get caught up in from time to time, often without realizing it.
I am writing this from America, where every television and film celeb (who isn’t on some awful reality show) is so unbelievably beautiful we rarely see them as people we could possibly relate to. Instead, we idolize them like royalty. Airbrushed and unattainable has become the new baseline standard of beauty. And we devour it like the new Naked 2 Palette. Since 99.9% of us cannot be poreless, impossibly thin and have advert-ready hair when it’s raining, how are we supposed to feel about ourselves when we don’t match up to that glossy standard?
On your side of the pond, things are going a bit differently. Organizations are actually keeping an eye on advertisers. Separate adverts featuring Julia Roberts and Christy Turlington were pulled because of excessive product claims stemming from too much airbrushing. The Advertising Standards Authority is your watchdog, sounding the alarm to warn of overly processed images and other advertising untruths. America has no real counterpart working on our behalf as consumers. However, we do have some proactive advertisers. For example, Make Up For Ever is running a campaign in the States that uses absolutely no retouching.
Perhaps what I view as the worst part of the “perfect” message we are fed every day is how it makes us turn on each other. As women, we shouldn’t be so instantly judgmental. Instead, we should look for mutual style inspiration and encouragement. We aren’t perfect and our beauty lies in our imperfections. However, when everything we spy is glossy and amazing, sometimes it’s hard to remember what real women look like.
While it’s too early to tell what the long term effect of airbrushing will be, I can tell you from personal experience that it makes me yearn for unattainable results. I know I can’t have poreless skin (pores do actually serve a bodily function!), but I want it. Angelina Jolie has it. Even Kelly Osbourne appears to have very perfect skin and I can promise I have had nowhere near as many exciting nights her.
We have to stick up for each other a bit. We can’t let people force their beauty ideals onto our bodies without question. We must recognize that beauty is about so much more than “perfect” eye brows or shiny hair. And if someone calls you or your friend ugly (or fat, untamed, style-less, etc), have the grace to stand up for yourself and others. I’m glad I did.